1-year-ago-me (1Y): I just started out my career in freelancing. I need to attend as many workshops as possible because I’m not going to pursue my master’s degree soon.
Now-Me (N): Workshops and talks are not enough to add something to your knowledge. Getting hands-on is better, but sometimes people still need to see your certifications and degrees to trust you. A master’s degree abroad will also be helpful for a little boost of confidence and skills.
1Y: With enough experience, you can get where you want to be, too. Who needs that much money anyway?
N: I know money can’t buy everything. But at least it can buy you the freedom and some comfort. And if that’s what makes you happy, so be it. Don’t be embarrassed about it, as long as you’re investing, putting money into bonds and stocks.
1Y: Fine, I guess I have no clue about that since I’m not you, I haven’t experienced that eye-opening event. I don’t even know how stocks work. By the way, what are you doing with that makeup and skincare thingy?
N: What? It does look good on me, doesn’t it?
1Y: Yeah, but do you really need that to feel good about yourself?
N: Who says that I need makeup to feel good? I only need makeup to look more professional and grown-up to be accepted in certain social situations. And for the skincare, it’s my way to treat and take care of my own skin. Like I have to explain why I do what I do to everyone.
1Y: Sorry, you do look good with that on. Well, at least people would stop assuming we’re high-schoolers.
N: Apology accepted. Hey! You’re still reading physical books! Did you order that from Book Depository?
1Y: Yep, of course. Why? This is the best way to read a book. Have it in your hand, turn the page one by one, and maybe smell the paper. What’s wrong with this?
N: You know what’s wrong. You’re all about the environment and going green, but when it comes to books, you’re just not ready to give it up. That book was produced in the UK, delivered all the way from there to here in a bubble-wrap-layered envelope. The exact opposite of the environmental-friendly efforts you’re doing. Look at what I have here, Scribd unlimited subscription, basically Netflix for books. And ebooks, magazines, podcasts, etc.
About this piece
One night, when I was in bed and almost asleep, I thought about how much I’ve changed this year. I’ve done things I thought I wouldn’t do, invested my time and mind to learn things I thought I wasn’t interested in. So I thought to myself, how would a conversation between the now-me and 1-year-ago-me look like? I usually don’t write in a format like this, so writing this was fun!
With help from Google Photos, I tried to remember how I felt and think 1 year ago, in July 2018. I know humans can have contradicting ideas at the same time. I wanted to observe that changes in ideas, plans, and perspective within myself, and capture them as they progress.
It’s part of being human. Unlearning and learning things. It’s a sign that you’re growing.